Manning up...and what it means.

Temperature: 11 Celsius
Mood: Embittered
Shower Song: Over by Drake

So first off, I work predominately with twentysomethings. Let's say from about 21 to about 26 year olds is the larger demographic in my work place. It's fun at times, it's frustrating at times, but mostly it's disappointing. Especially the guys. I won't include the women because, aged 20 or aged 80, I still have no fucking clue what they want or even attempt to understand them, although I will never stop trying. So let's look primarily at the new generation of "men" coming up right now.

Now I will admit that it really does not take a rocket scientist or even someone who has done a great deal of thinking to find employ at my job. Having no real ideas or thoughts is actually a prerequisite I think. I don't know how I slipped through. Must've been lucky I guess. Anyway, I was standing around with a few of them last night, and I was paying attention to their conversation. There were about four or five, commenting, laughing, opining, trying to get me involved. I watched and listened politely, and when it was my turn to shed some light on the topic at hand, I found no words. My natural body instinct was to smirk, act smug, and shake my head. The subject on the table was the size, shape, and girth of the female genitalia. Which is best, which is worst, and very graphic reasons why. Oh, and there were also three girls standing around us listening intently, maybe doing research, or perhaps waiting for validation.This is where we're heading y'all.

Now, that is not a topic I have never spoken of before. In fact I'm sure that I have gone into great detail with my friends or other colleagues who might have an opinion on this matter at one time or another. Oh yes, I remember when I had this discussion. When I was in grade 8! What has happened to the idea of growing up and being a man? And I don't mean the stereo-typical beer guzzling, football watching, truck driving Joe the media expects us to be. The stupid mouth-breathing, porn addicted, Nascar following idiots married to the wonderful, smart, but at the end of rope with him wife from every sitcom in the last fifty years. I'm talking about a man. Someone to aspire to be, and someone to be proud of becoming.

I struggle with this every day. I can almost hear any dude reading this yelling "GAY!" at me, and that's cool, whatever. If you did, just seriously take a long look at yourself son. Fix your shit. I'm not of course. Quite the opposite in fact. And I'm not going to apologize for trying to be better than what I'm expected to be. My problem is trying to come to terms with the fact that these people don't seem to have any problem with the way they are, and don't plan on changing any time soon. I'm looked at as the strange one. Well, I guess I am, and believe me, there were times I would get caught up and think that there was something wrong with me. Maybe I should
watch UFC and WWE. Maybe I should have sex with random girls and then brag about it to my friends. Maybe I should cheat on as many girlfriends as possible. Maybe I should start fights when I'm drunk. Where's my man points? Where is my testosterone? What's wrong with me?

I guess I realized that those are all things you do when you're a boy. Those are things you do when you're in High School. Those are things you leave behind when that final bell rings. Then begins the journey. Yeah I watched UFC and WWE. When I was 16. Yeah I had sex with random girls. When I was 17. Yeah I started fights when I was drunk. When I was 19. That's it. You go through shit and you move on. You try to better yourself with each lesson learned. These dudes still think wrestling is real and playing Xbox Live at 40 years old is acceptable. Put down the controller and pick up a woman. Stop chasing what you thought made you a man when you were a teenager and try to be the man your eventual kids would look up to and want to emulate.

So I guess my version of being the modern man is maybe a little softer than it was years and years ago. Maybe it's a little tamer and less dramatic than the boys today. But I'm done apologizing for it and thinking I got it wrong. Yo, I'll still throw down if necessary, I love a good dirty joke, and I fuckin' HATE any kind of shopping. I drink Scotch and play sports. I scratch myself, fish, and have gone a week without showering. But come on. In day to day conduct, there can't be anything better than being someone that can be depended on in every respect. Someone who takes care of their responsibilities. Someone who looks for something a little deeper and meaningful in another woman than the dimensions of her genitalia. Because once that's gone, you're still going to have to have something to talk about. So c'mon son ! Man Up! Maybe it's just me. And I'm not even saying I'm there yet, but I know where I'm trying to get to. I just wish someone could maybe point the way to them.