The Meaning of Life

This will be my last official post at this address. Except of course for the next one which will be directing you to my new address. This will, therefore, be my last post at this address concerning my thoughts and feelings about a certain subject. All set? Cool. Let's begin...

I realized, when I was thinking about the topic of which I am about to relate, that the title was eluding me. I hemmed extensively and followed those with some haws and then discovered that the main purpose of my life up to now and my continuing relentless pursuit of this topic was the only constant thus far. It is truly the only real motivating factor in my existence. And, it's growing. Intensely. So the title of this piece, at least for me, is nothing if not the realest description of my feelings on this subject. A subject I fear people have forgotten. A subject I refuse to give up on.

Something happened to me about a week and a half ago. It has happened before. It might happen again. But regardless of the frequency in which these things take place, the feelings and torment invovled are no less significant. See, another relationship of mine ended. It had just passed the 10 month mark and it involved someone I was very much in LOVE with. There were differences of course, some more glaring than others, but we were able to get past them, for the most part, and continue to try and create something important and substantial. We seemed to be on the same page mostly and the break-up was not expected (at least by me) nor was it necessary (if you ask me). However, we no longer exist as a couple. I am in the stage of mourning right now where I'm wondering what she's doing constantly, and everything reminds me of her. Familiar territory for me so I'm getting a little better at handling it. It is not where I want to be though and it was somewhere I did not expect to be again. So why did this happen?

Well, it was inevitable I guess. There were signs from very early on that I should have acted on or maybe addressed so as not to pro-longed what turned out to be a doomed union. I just figured and hoped that the inherent gaping omissions to what I believe to be a meaningful relationship would one day rectify themselves once we truly made headway on the path to discovering each other. There was no infidelity (as far as I know) and no abuse. There was no lying or dishonesty. There were mistakes, but nothing monumental. The truth is that it was a good thing. A great thing even. All it really came down to was a simple question: "What do you believe LOVE is?"

Of course that wasn't verbalized, or even hinted at, but through actions and personal philosophies you learn from people, you can draw your own conclusions. The problems here were that what I defined as LOVE wasn't the same as she did. I needed someone to make an effort. To make me feel important. To make me feel special and needed. I don't think I'm in the minority here. And hopefully, a lot of people's partners recognize these lapses, whether it be brought to their attention or just naturally, and make the necessary adjustments. After all, you obviously know how if you've gotten to this point in the first place. And shouldn't it be the most important thing? To make sure that if you LOVE someone you treat them that way? The way you would want to be treated? I guess that's the real sign. Are they willing to make the effort anymore or not?

One of my best friends is dealing with this right now under much more serious constraints then I was. You see, he is married. Again. To the same woman. I'll explain. This friend of mine got married, had a kid, got broken up with, got destroyed, rebuilt, decided with the greatest of intentions and with unbelievable effort to try again with her. And it's not working. And he keeps trying. And it's not working. And he pleads with her to make an effort. And she doesn't hear him. Or even try. And now, through some kind of heaven sent twist of fate, he has reconnected with a woman who has moved him and allowed him to feel like he matters. He gets her. And she gets him. And now, he is in LOVE with her. More than I've seen him be with anyone in a very long time. I cannot get him to shut up about her. But to see him talk about her is fantastic. That's what LOVE is supposed to do. Is this wrong? How can LOVE be wrong? It might hurt, but in it's true state, it's never wrong. Never.

Outside influences on the relationship are unavoidable. Even when you are not in the throes of coupledom, things will affect your so-called life. The main thing to remember is that they will be a constant and random thing. You can't guess what they will be or where they will come from. All you can do is prepare. Prepare by looking your friend in the eyes and saying, "I can't get through this and neither can you. But we always can." What could be more important than that? Don't people understand that everything that life throws at you, EVERYTHING, can be conquered if you have that someone. That teammate. That bond. That LOVE.

All that you have to do is come to the inevitable conclusion that every single thing you ever thought you wanted out of life stems from LOVE. IT is the one constant when all this goes away. IT should be respected, sought, and revered as the ultimate discovery we can uncover and experience during our brief time here. IT is ageless, timeless, and all-consuming. Why would anyone worry about anything else? Sure, money gets you security and status and is a necessity for the material life you wish to procure. Fun is fun and a great way to temporarily reward yourself for your hard work. And sex is awesome, all be it empty and possibly health compromising. But what's real? What is the feeling that literally NO vice can duplicate. NO promotion at work can hope to come close to mirror. NO cars or clothes or fame and wealth can come close to. It is the truest pursuit and the noblest of journeys. It is the most rewarding endevour and the most painful failure. IT is simply the reason.

All things are fleeting. All things end. They must. They are plastic. They are brick. They are paper. LOVE endures. IT takes us to where we always wanted to be better than any drug or vehicle. If IT weren't the most important thing in this universe we've created, why would we bury people side by side when they pass. Maybe that's a bad example and kind of cliche, but when all of this goes away and we cease to be, we still wish our lifeless bodies to be beside the ones we loved. Pointless and profound. And real. The truth is that if there were no chance of acquiring anything at all, LOVE would still be chased. IT's in our souls. IT's the true need. So why not give it your all?

LOVE does everything. IT is the ultimate bond that nothing can come between. And it means everything. The true test and commitment of our lives and it should be taken as seriously and as happily as is possible. Because things aren't always gonna be great. It's gonna suck sometimes. But you can make it if you want to. Nothing besides a complete feeling of retreat and surrender can end it. The true question is: "If the money runs out and the well runs dry, will you still be here by my side?" Will you? Because it eventually will. And how much do you both value LOVE. Because when the lights go off and the music stops, can you still sit together on the floor and be content and truly happy? The happiness that is only allotted to those fortunate ones who know what they have and the gift they have found. And you can. It's not that hard. Nothing is that hard. If you have LOVE.