Everybody gets irked from time to time. I am somebody who gets bothered quite a bit actually, perhaps even more than the average person. Is it because I am more sensitive than most? Maybe. Is it because I expect more from humanity than the "normal" person? Could be. But mostly, I think it might be because a small, secret part of me likes being annoyed from time to time. If only to have something to complain about and share with you good people.With that in mind, a list I say, of those little irritations that, unfortunately cannot be cured with a shot of penicillin.
-People who sneeze unnecessarily loud.
-The fact that, for some reason, people on motorcycles get to go WAY faster than us automobilists.
-Server's who gauge their final thank you's based on the tip they received after a quick peek.
-Painfully unfunny people who constantly joke.
-One-uppers.
-People who only like one kind of music.
-Bartenders who give you back $15 in change after ordering one beer hoping for a large tip.
-Anyone who claims to be a Dr. but uses their first name. (ie. Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew etc.)
-People who NEVER signal
-People who have no idea their breath is bad. You'll know them. They're the ones who stand the closest to you when they speak. And God help me, they will not take your gum, no matter how many times you subtly offer.
-People who talk to other people in a different language in front of you.
-People in zombie movies who board themselves up in a house rather than just walking past the bastards. You have like 5 shotguns idiot.
-People who read the menu at any fast food restaurant.
-Slow eaters
-The rapid growth of my nose hair since 30.
-People with hair who waste it by styling or cutting it stupidly.
-Anybody in an Eharmony commercial.
-The Italian soccer team. And fans of the Italian soccer team.
-Those days where you constantly think someone is calling your name.
-The 3 days in between burning your tongue and tasting again.
-The ridiculous amount of poker on TV.
-The Doctor who told me after I tore the ligaments in my ankle that I would have been better off breaking it. "Sorry to let you down Doc. I'll try harder next time."
-People who sleep in public. Creepy. Rob them. Unless they're homeless. Then there's no point.
-People who tell me to pull up my pants.
-Gauging the appropriate distance a person behind you has to be for you to either hold the door for them or just let it go.
-Being completely off on that and the feeling you get when they see you holding the door and have to do that half-assed jog to it. Thanks for the unwanted exercise asshole.
-People who point with their lips.
-Endless road construction, or highway shut downs that show NO change or difference whatsoever afterwards. I guess we just don't understand roads.
-Nickelback fans.
-Josh Groban's voice.
-Rob Thomas. That's it. Just him.
-J-Lo being called a triple threat when she is insanely mediocre at all three.
-George Carlin being dead.
-MLSE!!!!!
-Old Navy commercials. Every single one since the company started.
-The fact that cold air drops and doesn't rise. My room is boiling.
-Having to sleep away nice days.
-Sparkly vampires.
-Blueberries
-Showering with someone.
-Apartheid.
Wow I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent. You know what doesn't irritate me though? You. Yes, You. And if you liked this, don't you worry, they'll be another. BIG UPS AND I'M OUT!
fantastic post. i agree with 95% of those. especially
ReplyDelete-Gauging the appropriate distance a person behind you has to be for you to either hold the door for them or just let it go.
this happens to me at work everyday. it is the bane of my existence.
how can you not like showering with someone!?
automobilists - my new favorite word
ReplyDeletemonsieur acrobat, don't forget those with shaved heads and a beard. pull up your pants please. great post!
ReplyDelete