Wow. Been almost a month since I've laid some truth on y'all. But ima keep it real and again lay out some idears and relinquish some skeletons that have filled up my walk-in. Again do not judge, simply nod, agree and remember, we are all friends here. This is a safe place.
Suggestion-When receiving any award, the Victor must be obliged to thank Satan as well. God may have helped them win, but Satan fucked over the other four.
Confession-Drinking has gotten in the way of many things in my life, but never my drinking. If that happens, I'm gonna start huffin'.
Suggestion-I think sharks should eat and attack more people. We're already scared of them, why not make it worth our while.
Confession-My baloney has a first name...it's Murray.
Suggestion-Vans with no windows should be followed at all times
Confession-I had pink hightops in grade four. My mum made me get them because Chuck Taylor's were too expensive. Oh, the torment.
Suggestion-Beer should make you skinnier, not fatter. Rowdy, drunken, lanky people are much easier to throw out of an establishment.
Confession-I LOVE that gum that tastes like soap. All you people are haters.
Suggestion-Weed should be legal...that is all.
Confession-I hope any daughter I have will be a lesbian. Even if I have 5. All lesbians.
Suggestion-They should have a marathon where the slowest person wins just to see idiots drop after strolling for ten years.
Confession-I hate 3-D movies. If I'm not actually on Pandora, don't make think that I am. Damn you Cameron.
Suggestion-Get rid of the amber light in traffic lights altogether. Then invest in a brake company.
Confession-I'm getting to the age where I think a runny nose means I have Cancer. Seriously.
Suggestion-Any time a homeless person asks you for change, ask him to tell you a joke first. He'll probably know one or two. That way, he's earning the money, you're paying for a service, and you both end up laughing together at the end. How nice is that? Unless the joke is something like,
"Guess what me and a Bear in January have in common?"
"What's that Homeless Guy (giggling, waiting, here it comes)."
"We both haven't eaten in a fuckin' month!"
"Oh. Here's $20."
Then, not so nice.
Confession-My second favourite football team is the Detroit Lions. That may not mean much to a lot of you, but to those who know what that means, it speaks volumes.
Suggestions-Change the name of manslaughter to "oopsie!" Bring a little levity to the trial. I'd plead guilty to an oopsie. Shoulder shrug and all.
Confession-I used to think Hilary Clinton was hot. USED TO!!!!
Well, that was fun wasn't it kids? Have a good day at school and don't eat the smelly markers. They may smell like blueberries, but they taste like burning. Love ya.
thrills!
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