Insight. Daytime television style.

Because I am awake usually around the 10 am vicinity, I am subject to all manner of high quality television broadcasts. I like to sift through the less desirable, boring ones and also every show that begins with "Judge" or ends in "Court", and concentrate on programs that guarantee an enrichment of my life intellectually, emotionally, and most of all, spiritually.

Here now are the 10 things I've learned whilst watching a week of "Maury":

"I like golf."

1) Every woman over 400+ pounds is having way more sex than you are having. Or will ever have. Or knew was possible.

2) Maury Povich finds black people precious.

3) Fertility is based solely on a lack of brain cells. It's kind of a trade off.

4) The demographic of this show have always wanted to go to school for a week and get a degree. They just needed the phone number.

5) The most popular letters in American names are "Q" and an apostrophe.

6) Maury Povich finds black people kooky.

7) The best way to make your point in an argument is to yell at the same time as the person you're arguing with. Helpful Hint: Keep repeating phrases like "That's what's up!", "What's up now?!", and the word "Whatever."

8) There are less contraceptives in Alabama than in all of Africa.

9) Becoming a father is a horrible, horrible thing.

10) If you're a white guy in the South, you have to grow a wispy goatee. It's a law.

Until next time America.