I am in a bad mood. A really bad, foul, rotten mood. Ornery even. I'm almost at the end of my rope and a sense of excitement and anticipation has once again been snuffed out like a mosquito who was met with deadly applause. Why this miserableness? I'm even embarrassed to say it but here goes. It is because with about 40 seconds to go, Michael Vick threw an interception in the end zone, ending the game and the Philadelphia Eagles' playoff hopes. My exterior was stoic. My demeanor calm, and very collected. I even managed a shrug and uttered the ever expressive, "Meh." Inside, however, where my soul bangs it's head against the wall of my existence, this was my true feeling:
"Mama, make it stop!"I, like many a regular Joe, believe that sports, in it's truest essence can be an exciting, competitive, cultural community builder. It allows a release from every day drudgery and provides watershed moments in history and the never ending human endeavour. I say this without hyperbole. The way sports grips us as a species, the competition between ourselves in an athletic arena, is probably one of the strongest bonding factors around. It is both historical document and pop culture phenomenon. Don't believe me? I bet you remember where you were when Joe hit that homerun. I don't even need to go into detail. You know what I'm talking about.
I have been watching sports for over 25 years now. That's longer than my girlfriend has been alive (I thank you). In 1985, I saw the Blue Jays win the AL East. I watched my first full Superbowl at the age of 8 and saw the Bears beat the Patriots. I was hooked. It was 1986 and I scrambled to find the teams to root, root, root for. Or I should say for them to find me. Most of my picks were geographical (Toronto Blue Jays, Toronto Maple Leafs...) but some took time. Here now is my list of teams I support in all the sports I care about:
Baseball-Toronto Blue Jays
Basketball-Toronto Raptors
Hockey-Toronto Maple Leafs
Football-Philadelphia Eagles
Soccer-Toronto FC, Liverpool FC, Leeds United
Yes, most of them are Toronto teams. What can I say, I'm a homer. And when these teams are winning, Toronto is a magical place to be. However, these teams do not win very often. For the purpose of my point, I am just going to focus on my North American teams. They allow me the most happiness when things are going well.
Now over the past 25 years let's calculate how many teams have won their respective league championships and compare to the teams I support. This will illustrate how close I am to giving up completely and doing yoga on a Sunday instead.
Baseball
Number of teams that have won championships: 17
My team: 2
(not a bad start)
Hockey
Number of teams that have won championships: 14
My team: 0
(duh.)
Basketball
Number of teams that have won championships: 7
My team: 0
(My team before the Raptors came was the Orlando Magic. Championships: 0)
Football
Number of teams that have won championships: 14
My team: 0
(They did get there once though. And got beat by fucking Tom Brady. I don't like that guy.)
So you see why I get upset and frustrated. All through my sports watching life, living in one of the biggest, most profitable sports cities in North America, with the only American team I chose to follow being just as rich and powerful as it's Torontonian counterparts, my teams combined are an impressive 2-51. Only one of my teams has won any kind of ring compared to the 51 others who have held the trophies aloft. Now I feel like crying again. And don't get me started on International Soccer. I'm edging toward the balcony already.
Many people have said that I take it too seriously. I don't think so. I think I'm at a point right now where I give it the right amount of consideration and self-investment. I'm not a fanatical, crazy, face-painter, but I rock the jerseys and I watch the games and I support teams that seem to do nothing to support their fans. The problem with Toronto is that we do that. We keep supporting. We are sports enablers to those rich owners and the fucking Teacher's Pension. So I'm taking it down a notch. No more buying tickets and stuff to support people that regularly kick us in the balls. It's a different kind of release now. I'm hanging on to these teams just enough to not be so distraught when they lose and to be legitimately able to celebrate when they win. Does that make me a fair-weather fan? Perhaps. But it's they only way to survive in this city if you want to maintain your sanity and involve yourself in Toronto sports. It took me 25 years to learn that. In another 25 years, one of my teams might surprise me and win something. It sounds funny but it's a reality. Welcome to my life.
Oh, and for the ladies...
You are so welcome.
I have been watching sports for over 25 years now. That's longer than my girlfriend has been alive (I thank you). In 1985, I saw the Blue Jays win the AL East. I watched my first full Superbowl at the age of 8 and saw the Bears beat the Patriots. I was hooked. It was 1986 and I scrambled to find the teams to root, root, root for. Or I should say for them to find me. Most of my picks were geographical (Toronto Blue Jays, Toronto Maple Leafs...) but some took time. Here now is my list of teams I support in all the sports I care about:
Baseball-Toronto Blue Jays
Basketball-Toronto Raptors
Hockey-Toronto Maple Leafs
Football-Philadelphia Eagles
Soccer-Toronto FC, Liverpool FC, Leeds United
Yes, most of them are Toronto teams. What can I say, I'm a homer. And when these teams are winning, Toronto is a magical place to be. However, these teams do not win very often. For the purpose of my point, I am just going to focus on my North American teams. They allow me the most happiness when things are going well.
Now over the past 25 years let's calculate how many teams have won their respective league championships and compare to the teams I support. This will illustrate how close I am to giving up completely and doing yoga on a Sunday instead.
Baseball
Number of teams that have won championships: 17
My team: 2
(not a bad start)
Hockey
Number of teams that have won championships: 14
My team: 0
(duh.)
Basketball
Number of teams that have won championships: 7
My team: 0
(My team before the Raptors came was the Orlando Magic. Championships: 0)
Football
Number of teams that have won championships: 14
My team: 0
(They did get there once though. And got beat by fucking Tom Brady. I don't like that guy.)
So you see why I get upset and frustrated. All through my sports watching life, living in one of the biggest, most profitable sports cities in North America, with the only American team I chose to follow being just as rich and powerful as it's Torontonian counterparts, my teams combined are an impressive 2-51. Only one of my teams has won any kind of ring compared to the 51 others who have held the trophies aloft. Now I feel like crying again. And don't get me started on International Soccer. I'm edging toward the balcony already.
Many people have said that I take it too seriously. I don't think so. I think I'm at a point right now where I give it the right amount of consideration and self-investment. I'm not a fanatical, crazy, face-painter, but I rock the jerseys and I watch the games and I support teams that seem to do nothing to support their fans. The problem with Toronto is that we do that. We keep supporting. We are sports enablers to those rich owners and the fucking Teacher's Pension. So I'm taking it down a notch. No more buying tickets and stuff to support people that regularly kick us in the balls. It's a different kind of release now. I'm hanging on to these teams just enough to not be so distraught when they lose and to be legitimately able to celebrate when they win. Does that make me a fair-weather fan? Perhaps. But it's they only way to survive in this city if you want to maintain your sanity and involve yourself in Toronto sports. It took me 25 years to learn that. In another 25 years, one of my teams might surprise me and win something. It sounds funny but it's a reality. Welcome to my life.
Oh, and for the ladies...
You are so welcome.
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